fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
