I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
