We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
