I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
