oh god the rape fog is back!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
