your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
