remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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