I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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