what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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