My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
