oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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