That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
