I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
