I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
