We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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