There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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