Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
