My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What drink are we having for lunch?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
