My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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