Nicole vs. Life
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm always down for nudity.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
