did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
