There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
