and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to sanitize my soul.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
