If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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