like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
