great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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