I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
