In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
