just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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