Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We got so high we made milksteak
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
