So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize