that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
