you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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