You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
