Umm I'm too high to move.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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