I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
