Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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