Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
