No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize