I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize