That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
