Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
