shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
