halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
