Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
