Got a toothbrush?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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