Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
