I just made out with a guy for $7.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
