How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
