Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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