so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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