he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We have started to decorate penises.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
