You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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