hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
3pm strippers are depressing
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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