then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize