i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
