Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
