he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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