I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Someone came in the potted fern
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
