Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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