hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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