I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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