he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize