I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
