I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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