You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
