day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
